Saving Fish from Drowning, by Amy Tan

 

• ·         “Isn’t that what love is –losing your mind? You don’t care what people think. You don’t see your beloved’s faults, the slight stinginess, the bit of carelessness, the occasional streak of meanness. You don’t mind that he is beneath you socially, educationally, financially, and morally –that’s the worst, I think, deficient morals.”

• ·         “I ask you this: What’s the chance of finding a lasting a marriage? Twenty percent? Ten? Did I know any woman who escaped having her heart crushed like a recyclable can? Not a one. From what I have observed, when the anesthesia of love wears off, there is always the pain of consequences. You don’t have to be stupid to marry the wrong man.”

• ·         “But then I discovered art. I saw for the first time nature and pure feelings expressed in a form I could understand. A painting was a translation of the language of my heart. My emotions were all there –but in a painting, a sculpture. I went to museum after museum, into the labyrinths of rooms and that of my own soul. And there they were –my feelings, and all of them natural, spontaneous, truthful, and free. My heart cavorted within shapes and shadows and splashes, in patterns, repetitions, and abruptly ending lines. My soul shivered in tiny feathered strokes, one eyelash at a time.”

• ·         “No matter what the religious belief in a country, a certain degree of acquisitiveness is always there.”

• ·         “While it is good to speak well, it is better to speak the truth.”

• ·         “In magical lands, magic can happen. But only if we believe. And if we believe, the impossible can happen. What we wish to have will manifest. What we wish to hide turns invisible.”

• ·         “Things are not always what they seem. And what you choose is not always what you get. Others may choose for you.”

• ·         “Bathing is a beautiful necessity, a moment of peace, a cleansing of body and spirit.”

• ·         “Life was merely an illusion you must release.”

• ·         “Death was not a loss of life, but the culmination of a series of releases.”

• ·         “ … within beauty, there is tragedy.”

• ·         “The only thing certain in times of great uncertainty is that people will behave with great strength or weakness, and with very little else in between.”

• ·         “In moments of great danger, many people show their deficiencies.”

• ·         “Through trial with death, you discover your power. Through trial, you shed your mortal flesh, layer after layer, until you become who you are supposed to be. If you die you were mortal all along. But if you survive, you are a god. So, don’t go speaking your doubts so loudly. This god might waken and arise, and if he hears you fickle and fomenting talk he’ll put you in a place with no pretty maidens, just barren rice fields.”

• ·         “A good government had to guide its people, sometimes gently, sometimes strictly, just as parents did. It could allow certain freedoms, but in a style that suited the country. Only the leaders know what that style should be.”

(I thought) I was special, by Windarti

(I thought) I was special

As red as (the sky)

As blue as (the grass)

As green as (the sunshine)

As yellow as (the night)

As black as (the clouds)

As white as (the rose)

(I didn’t know that

All I did was misinterpret the color that you gave)

(But I thought) I was special.

Windarti 2014

LOVE?, Windarti's Poem 2013

LOVE?

People said that love is a two-ways street,

If it is a one-way street, then it isn’t love?

I disagree.

A one-way street, still, it is love.

It’s tiring and lonely, but still, it is love.

It’s helpless, but never be hopeless.

Even when it comes to a dead-end, it is, still, love.

What makes it not?

Windarti, 2013

SELF REVEALING IDENTITY

SELF REVEALING IDENTITY

Maybe this is why some people see me as a boy. Seriously! It’s not one or two people who said that I actually am, a boy: many of them said that. That’s why I began to think about it further; ain’t I a woman?

Well, yes, at some points of my life, I wish, I do really wish to be a man, I mean, if I were a boy, there would be a lot of things I could do that I can’t do it now, as a woman. It’s not because that I ain’t grateful for being a woman; I proud to be one, and if there is a next lifetime, I will certainly choose to be one once more time.

Now, let’s go straight to the point. Do I really look like a boy? What makes them think so? Is it me, who makes them think so, because I try to act like a boy, unconsciously? Do I really wish to be a boy (do a part of me wishes that)? I have no clue about that, but I will try to analyze it more ‘theoretically’ about my case.

The first reason is maybe its just human nature that always wanting everything they haven’t got or experienced. Maybe because I am a woman who lives in a sexist or patriarchal society, I wish to be one different self or sex than my current self and soul. Or maybe, as semiotics or Marxist, or psychoanalyst would say: I want something that they called ‘power’ which men or phallic symbol represents. Maybe as a woman, I see myself as powerless being, then I want to deny myself (Freud theory) by copying or act like a man, because somehow, I feel that what they do is a challenge for me: if they can do that, why I can’t? But I don’t know if it is true or not since I am not quite sure with that.

          The second analysis, I will draw it from queer and feminism perspectives (it doesn’t mean that my sexual orientation is the same sex, though. I still get interested in men). As we know that these two theories have the same roots which differentiate between ‘sex’ and ‘gender’. Sex is the label society puts on us at the second we were born, because of our ‘body’ appearance, whether gender is a performance, a role that we play or construct. In this case, I see myself as a woman, who sometimes plays a role as a man. You got my point? Maybe, my male-role dominated me that much at some occasions so that others see me as a man instead of a woman. Ain’t I still a woman?

If I were a boy, I could make my own freedom of going everywhere at any hours I wanted to. We live in a wrong-way-of-thinking society that puts women as the object (and also the subject at the same time) of crimes. We live in a society that taught that women are defenseless and powerless, so they are the perfect object of crimes. Yet if there are rape cases, women are the one to be blamed. We live in a society who never taught that boys should not be allowed to get out at night, so they wouldn’t be a rapist. That’s why sometimes I act like a boy, so nobody would dare to think that I am defenseless and powerless. I could hit or punch anybody in the face, I speak blatantly, I hang around with my male friends to learn how they think. It is interesting, you know.

This way of thinking led me got into so many new perspectives of lives. I became a feminist. I believe that women and men are different and have different potentials in them: that is why we should be equal, because we all have our own strength and weaknesses. Not equality that up against my religion, but equality on how society sees women as powerful and potential beings that can contribute something to the world, if they are given a chance, so people wouldn’t underestimate women any longer.

I even have a dream that I should be a woman warrior like Alice in Resident Evil, or such. I wanna be a kind of girl that smart, tough, and of course independent. I really love action movies that put women not just as a ‘scenery’ but as the person behind the gun. Was it kind of obsession to be a man? Haha I don’t have any idea about that.

This also what makes me became an anti-mainstream person, I mean, sometimes I have different opinion if it is about metro sexual men or stylish or fashionable men. People always find it weird and they became restless of the appearance of these person. One example is men putting make up or any beauty products on their faces. I don’t think that that’s wrong. What makes beauty products so sexist? It shouldn’t be connected with sex, actually, because it’s about our skin health, who doesn’t want their skin being well-cared for? It’s sad then, that people see men who wearing makeup as gay or queer, and they judged them by saying that, to say that they don’t like them. Well, that’s unfair. For me, men also have to take care of their body (like women do) so that they will perform a good or nice looking every day. It hurts my eyes to see dirty-looked men walking everywhere. Maybe they are afraid of putting that skin care cosmetics because they want to be called macho. Well, what’s macho seriously? I am done with this topic!

I said that it’s self revealing identity, but actually, it is just a little part of my identity (as you know, identity consists of so many aspects of life and it’s just a tiny part of it) of how I see myself as a girl and boy at the same time, and how it contributes to my perspectives towards anything. So, even though I am a woman, I have to think like a man, be tough, and over all, independent, because in this world, you can only count on yourself. I believe that.

I am A Woman, and That’s Okay, Windarti's Poem 2013

I am A Woman, and That’s Okay

I am a woman, and that’s okay.

When I drop my books, none helped me, and that’s okay.

When I fell to the ground, none lift me up, and that’s okay.

When I brought too much load, none offered me help, and that’s okay.

When I got into the car, none opened the door for me, and that’s okay.

When I caught into the rain, none shared an umbrella with me, and that’s okay.

When I cried, none wiped the tears for me, and that’s okay.

Because I am a woman, and if you don’t think so, that’s okay.

I am independent me, and without you, I am okay.

I hope that’s okay for you if I am okay.

Because I am a woman, and that’s okay.

Windarti, 2013

WHAT WILL YOU DO IF YOU ARE ONLY YOUNG TWICE? 29, by Adena Halpern

WHAT WILL YOU DO IF YOU ARE ONLY YOUNG TWICE?

29, by Adena Halpern

Author            : Adena Halpern

Title                : 29

Genre              : Fiction

Total pages    : 267

My stars         : ****

“What if you closed your eyes, blew out the candles, and your wish came true?”

TAKE A GLANCE:

“Ellie Jerome is a young-at-heart seventy-five-year-old who feels she has more in common with her twenty-nine-year-old granddaughter, Lucy, than her fifty-five-year-old daughter, Barbara. Ellie’s done everything she can to stay young, and the last thing she wants is to celebrate another birthday. So when she finds herself confronted with a cake full of candles, Ellie wishes more than anything that she could be twenty-nine again, just for one day. But who expects a wish like that to come true?

29 is the story of three generations of women and how one magical day shakes up everything they know about each other. While Ellie finds that the life of twenty-something is not as carefree as she expected, the sheer joy of being young again prompts her to consider living in her life all over. Does she dare stay young for more than this day, even if it means leaving everyone she loves behind?”

MY IMPRESSIONS:

This book is a real fun and talking about mother-daughter relationship in a light way, because for me, mother-daughter relationship is the most complicated one. Another thing that I can take from this book is the real lessons of youth –because I still young- and this book makes me realize that we have to live our life –so that we have no regret behind.

 I know that my relationship with my mother not as complicated as this book tells me, but I can’t doubt that our relationship has no problem at all. It is true that as a daughter, we have to be the best before our parent’s (especially mother) eyes. By that ‘process’, sometimes we lose ourselves and living the life of somebody else. Maybe for now it is not a big problem since we always want to make our parents proud of us, but it might be a problem someday when we look back on our life and regret something back there. Up to this point, I have so many regrets –maybe not as big as this book tells. If I ever had the chance to go back, I would go back to the day I was born and change every mistake that I’ve done. But if I only have one day, I would go back to –let me think- the day I joined the traditional dance lessons. I shouldn’t have quitted that lesson because now I realize its benefits and I just wanna make everybody around me –that love me and always support me- proud of me, because at that time, I was a talented traditional dancer. Another regret (maybe not regret, but I just wanna travel back), I want to back to my childhood, I wanna play every traditional game that there is none nowadays. I want to play as freely as I can, I just wanna play them all: I miss them. And another thing: I want to go back to my high-school time; I regret I said nothing when my teachers blamed me for mistake that I have not done. I regret I did not shout or yell at them, I regret I didn’t tell them that what they did is wrong, I regret them all, but they are little things that I have to forget anyway.

From this book I have a lesson that I have to live my life, to enjoy them with the joyful heart. Sometimes I wonder what will I do when I find my gray hair (which is I did, but only one or two, so not that surprising), when I look in the mirror that I am no longer young. At the first time, maybe I will say that that must be dreadful, but from now on, I will think that being old is something that we couldn’t stop, although today we have so many anti-ageing cream and cosmetics, but being old is something that we can’t deny. That’s why we have to live our life from now on, so that we have no regret when it comes to the old something. I hope, when I age, I still have youth in my heart and wisdom also so that I can hang out with my grandchildren and told them my opinion based on my experience, they would respect me as their grandmom, but they will always share everything with me as a friend. I wanna be that kind of grandmother someday, just like the combination of Ellie and Frida. =) LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!!! XD

“My dear. May you have everything you want in life. If you should get it all, however, and you still don’t like the outcome, don’t take it as failure. Take it as something to learn from and move on. Believe me, no matter how old you may be, whether you’re twenty-nine or seventy-six, no matter how many years you’ve got left, trust someone who had to learn it the hard way: you’ve still got time to change.”

A LITTLE QUESTION AND MY OPINION:

1. Inspired by the number of candles on her birthday cake, Ellie wishes to be twenty-nine again for a day. What age would you choose to return to and why?

>> 1 year old. I want to live when I was the only children in the family.

2. Ellie believes that if she can have just one day of her youth back, she can erase her regrets. Do you think it’s possible to make up for such regrets in a day?

>> maybe yes, if we know what to fix, when is the right time, and how we fix it.

3. Frida and Ellie have very different outlooks on life and ageing. Ellie wants to go back and redo her youth, while Frida believes that “what’s done is done”. Have their different marriages influenced their outlooks, or is it a difference in personality? Which do you agree with?

>> I think both of them. For Frida, she loves her husband and thinks that she young again, there is nothing she could do without him: her husband=her youth. But for Ellie, the affair of Howard makes her think that life is unfair and thinks like “if only I could go back in time” and change everything, doing something that I haven’t done. It’s like the effect of Howard’s affair.

4. Thinking about her marriage with Howard, Ellie ponders which is better: to marry for love or to marry for security. Is this a product of her upbringing in the 1950s, or is it still relevant for women today?

>> I don’t know but for me, marry for security still relevant for women today. For me, only love is not enough. Marriage is happiness, how could you be happy when you’re insecure?

5. Ellie cares greatly about presentation and image, and has had some cosmetic surgery done. What are your feelings on plastic/cosmetic surgery? Do you plan to take advantage of such procedures as you age?

>> my feeling is good, I mean, it’s good for women to do anything to make them feel good. But I don’t think that I would do that, because I am grateful for what I am today, and I will always be, and I hope my partner will accept me just the way I am and not even suggest me to do that.

6. As Ellie’s day comes to a close, she fantasizes about staying young and running away with Zachary, but in the end she chooses her old life. Did she make the right decision? What would you have done in her place?

>> I think yes. She would have so many people she loves behind if she running away with Zachary: Lucy lost her dearest grandmother, Barbara lost her mother that she loves so much, and Frida would be alone in her old days without a bestfriend who understands her. I would have done the same if I were her.

7. After finding the cards and notes that Howard saved over the years, Ellie comes to the conclusion that he was her soulmate, despite all his flaws. Is she just resigning herself to the reality of the past, or is the proof of his love for her really enough to make up for his affairs?

>> maybe Ellie thinks the second, but for me, that is her resigning to her past. I mean, she tried to be wise, and kill other thoughts that might make her feel bad about her decision.

8. Ellie notes that being seventy-five gets her special treatment, and that this makes her feel old. Is this truly a bad thing? How does our society treat the elderly, and what needs to change?

>> it’s not bad, but to be honest, I would hate to be the center of attention when we try to be independent. I mean our society think that elderly are weak and need their (society) help in everything, and they are so slow, they are old-school, and they are just something that in a queue to the door of the death, just counting the days down. That’s what they need to change. Elderly is also human beings, they have their own lives, privacy, and ideology that no one should disturb. They also wanna live their lives, not the life that full of your pity (that’s how we look them, right? pityful).

NICE QUOTES:

·         “I regret I didn’t show her that working was important, not just for money’s sake, but to do something for yourself.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “Believe it or not,  it was almost accepted for a man to have an affair, but oh, no, never a woman.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “How wonderful it would have been to have someone in my life who wrote me love letters.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “How marvelous it would have been to just have that thrill of someone else finding me attractive.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “Don’t we all regret our lives in one way or another and wish we could go back and change them?” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “My head was everywhere, I was so mixed up.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “Today is my day of being selfish, and what I say goes.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “The job for the man is to show the lady a nice time. The job for the woman is to look like she appreciates it.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “Oh, wonderful, we’re lost! That’s it. That’s all we needed.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “A moment comes in everyone’s life when  they realize they’re old. I’m not talking about the day you see your first gray hair or the day you see the hint of a crow’s foot. What I’m talking about is the day when you realize you’ve grown out of being able to adapt to something new.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “My days of miniskirt were over. I never wore that dress again. That was when I knew there was no turning back. I was officially older. Until today, of course.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “No matter how old your child gets, she’s still your child.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “Everything is fine here. Sometimes we all just need some time without questions or problems to solve for everyone else. Sometimes we just need to shot out the world and take some time for ourselves.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “what’s done is done.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “change is always good.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         We live, we learn, we move on.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “Naivete is one thing. Knowing what’s right is completely different.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “sometimes you have no choice in life but to stay where you are and work it out.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “There comes a point in a person’s life when they stop accepting new ideas.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “Husbands are wonderful, but some of them stray. A true friend? She’s the only one who will never let you down.” -29, by Adena Halpern

·         “It’s wonderful to have a lot of different friends, but it’s most important to have one friend who will be there for you through good times and bad.” -29, by Adena Halpern

THE DA VINCI CODE, BY DAN BROWN

THE DA VINCI CODE

By dan brown

Title: the da vinci code

Author: dan brown

No of pages: 489

Genre: fiction

“An ingenious code hidden in the works of leonardo da vinci.

A desperate race through the cathedrals and castles of Europe.

An astonishing truth concealed for centuries…unveiled at last.”

Fact;

“The Priory of Sion—

a European secret society founded in 1099—

is a real organization. In 1975 Paris’s Bibliothéque Nationale discovered parchments known as Les Dossiers Secrets, identifying numerous members of the Priory of Sion, including Sir Isaac Newton, Botticelli, Victor Hugo, and Leonardo da Vinci.

The Vatican prelature known as Opus Dei is a deeply devout Catholic sect that has been the topic of recent controversy due to reports of brain-washing, coercion, and a dangerous practice known as “corporal mortification.” Opus Dei has just completed construction of a $47 million National Headquarters at 243 Lexington Avenue in New York City.”

MY READING EXPERIENCE:

Fiuuuhhh… finally I finished reading this novel. It was quite a work, you know, with its high-level vocabularies, foreign languages (French), and the theory of the Holy Grail and so many explanation and history of symbols. But I am pleased, because it satisfied my curiosity and answered my question with its beautifully arranged plot. It is true that this book is “a pulse-quickening, brain-teasing adventure”. I love this story, very much!

          This story is talking about the searching of Holy Grail. Actually, I didn’t know what Holy Grail was, by the first time I read this novel. But as I read it further, I could understand where the story goes. The problem was there are two groups (the Priory of Sion and the Opus Dei) that competed to find the Grail first, the one wanted to destroy it and the other one wanted to reveal it to the world. Being told by the characterization of Robert Langdon and Sophie Neveu, a professor of Religious Symbology of Harvard University and a cryptographer agent, made a perfect combination to be the main characters of this story. It was interesting because to find the Grail, we had to solve so many codes that I found it interesting and brain-teasing! This book made me say “wow! What a genius!” for so many times. And the surprising part was when the person or the Teacher behind it all was made a confession to Langdon and Sophie. And the best part is yet to come, because we would be surprised of where the Grail was placed.

          I was amazed by the combination of fiction and the reality it gave us, like the book said that “all description of artwork, architecture, documents, and secret rituals in this novel are accurate.” The author must be a genius one! It is really a good book, though I haven’t seen the movie, because for me, reading has so much more fun, than sitting on a couch for several hours watching the movie :D

THE QUOTES OR IDEAS I NOTED DOWN:

·         “absolution required sacrifice.” –The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown

·         “the pentacle is a pre-Christian symbol that relates to Nature worship. The ancients envisioned their world in two halves- masculine and feminine. Their gods and goddesses worked to keep a balance of power. Yin and yang. When male and female were balanced, there was harmony in the world. When they were unbalanced, there was chaos.” –The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown

·         “in the battle between the pagan symbols and Christian symbols, the pagan lost; Poseidon’s trident became the devil’s pitchfork, the wise crone’s pointed hat became the symbol of a witch, and Venus’s pentacle became the sign of the devil.” –The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown

·         “release your hatred, forgive those who trespassed against you.” –The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown

·         “money and faith were powerful motivators.” –The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown

·         “Gentlemen, not only does the face of Mona Lisa look androgynous, but her name is an anagram of the divine union of male and female. And that, my friends, is Da Vinci’s little secret, and the reason for Mona Lisa’s knowing smile.” –The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown