KITA BERJODOH, by Windarti

KITA BERJODOH

kaki kita bersentuhan,
kita berjodoh.
mata kita bertatapan,
kita berjodoh.
hati kita berdegup kencang,
kita berjodoh.
tangan kita bergandengan,
kita berjodoh.
senyum kita bertukaran,
kita berjodoh.
apalah lagi yang kita pikirkan?
kita berjodoh.

Windarti 2013

THE HUNDRED SECRET SENSES, BY AMY TAN (reading experience)

THE HUNDRED SECRET SENSES, BY AMY TAN

Title            : The Hundred Secret Senses

Author        : Amy Tan

Number of Pages  : 321

Genre         : Fiction

My Stars     : *****

Synopsis:

“Olivia Yee is only five years old when Kwan, her older sister from China, comes to live with the family and turns her life upside down, bombarding her day and night with ghostly stories of strange ancestors from the world of Yin. Olivia just wants to lead a normal American life.

For the next thirty years, Olivia endures visits from Kwan and her ghosts, who appear in the living world to offer advice on everything from restaurants to Olivia’s failed marriage. But just when she cannot bear it anymore, the revelations of a tragic family secret finally open her mind to the startling truths hidden in Kwan’s unorthodox vision of the world.”

My Experience:

          Okay, firstly, I want to say that it was the Research Methods class which I take in this semester that made me interested in reading Chinese novel, especially Amy Tan. I always wonder when I could read such a wonderful story. This story talked about a girl, Olivia, who had new sister who came from China, which had yin eyes (eyes that could see dead people). It was interesting to see how Tan made this incredible story in such way. At the first time, I was quite confused because this story talked back and forth of Kwan’s life (yes it quite confusing at first because I didn’t know that Kwan was talking about her last lifetime –I mean, Chinese people believe in reincarnation, don’t they?- and there was Kwan, retold her story of her last lifetime to Olivia). But then, I found it really interesting. That is why I love this kind of story, I mean when the story told me about what culture the world has, and it makes me do the cross-cultural understanding. I do really love surprise, especially when it’s something about culture.

          Well, do you know what a hundred secret senses is? In this book, it was said that:

          “What’s a secret sense?”|”How can I say? Memory, seeing, hearing, feeling, all come together, then you know something true in your heart. Like one sense, I don’t know how say, maybe sense of tingle. You know this: Tingly bones mean rain coming, refreshen mind. Tingly skin on arms, something scaring you, close you up, still pop out lots a goose bump. Tingly skin top a you brain, oh-oh, now you know something true, leak into your heart, still you don’t want believe it. Then you also have tingly hair in you nose. Tingly skin under you arm. Tingly spot in back of you brain –that one, you don’t watch out, you got a big disaster come, mm-hm. You use you secret sense, sometimes can get message back and forth fast between two people, living, dead, doesn’t matter, same sense”.

And here the other one:

“Don’t just use tongue, lip, teeth for speaking. Use hundred secret senses. The senses that are related to primitive instincts, what humans had before their brains developed language and the higher functions –the ability to equivocate, make excuses, and lie. Spine chills and musky scents, goose bumps and blushing cheeks –those are the vocabulary of the secret senses”.

I love this novel, because this made me understand about Chinese culture, their food, their beliefs, and how do they view things. For example, they believe in reincarnation (people will re-born in the next lifetime after death and being in the world of yin). I interested in this thing because it makes me curious, I love something that beyond imagination. Because of this ‘reincarnation thing’, they believe that if we make a mistake that we truly regret, we could ask what we would be in the next lifetime. For example I killed you in this lifetime, and I felt that it was wrong and I would owe you so much in the next lifetime, I could wish to be your wife or children so I could take care of you. For me, it is interesting. In page 127, it was said that in yin world,

“Lao Lu said that you must stay together with Simon. This is your yinyuan, the fate that brings lovers together.” | “and why is this my fate?” |”because in your last lifetime together, you loved someone else before Simon. Later, Simon trusted you with his whole life that you loved him too.”

 And in this novel, Kwan also lived in her friend’s body, which for me didn’t make any sense, but this explanation was interesting one:

“there’s a ghost inside this girl.” | “what can we do?” | “nothing. The girl who lived in this body before doesn’t want to come back. And the girl who lives in it now can’t leave until she finds her”.

Maybe, for us this doesn’t make sense. But this thing is what I love about Chinese: they live in a world that seems like fairytale for me. There are so many superstitious. One more interesting opinion I could find in this book is when there was an accident and no one care.

“It’s not good to interfere, especially since you’re foreigners. Don’t worry, the police will be along soon. You’re Americans, you’re not used to seeing tragedies. You pity us, yes, because you can later go home to a comfortable life and forget what you’ve seen. For us, this type of disaster is commonplace. We have so many people. This is our life, always crowded bus, everyone trying to squeeze in for himself, no air to breathe, no room left for pity.”

That was really explain what happened there in China. I was questioning when once I watched video that showed me an accident but no one cared about the victim. By this explanation, I could understand them, and that’s why I love this novel. And the most interesting one, this novel surprised me most at the ending. I do really love this novel! =)

MY FAVORITE QUOTES FROM THIS BOOK:

·         “Libby-ah, do you know what loyalty is? | “what?” | “it’s like this. If you ask someone to cut off his hand to save you from flying off with the roof, he immediately cuts off both hands to show he is more than glad to do so.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “Living people always more trouble than ghost. Living people bother you because angry. Ghost make trouble only because sad, lost, confused.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “But to pretend that all was right with the world, I first had to know what was wrong.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “Life’s always a big fucking compromise. You don’t always get what you want, no matter how smart you are, how hard you work, how good you are. That’s a myth. We’re all hanging in the best we can.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “Well, if everyone thought I was bad, I’d show them what bad was.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “I belonged to no one else, only myself.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “The world’s changed. It’s hip to be ethnic.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “When you save a person’s life, that person becomes a part of you.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “You can’t stop young girls from wishing. No! Everyone must dream. We dream to give ourselves hope. To stop dreaming –well, that’s like saying you can never change your fate. Isn’t that true?” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “You can’t stop people from hoping for a better life.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “You can’t stop people from wishing. They can’t help trying. As long as they can see sky, they’ll always want to go as high as they can.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “Why do you always think it’s best not to say anything?” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “No one’s to blame. Anyway, regrets are useless, always too late.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “To you, this may sound clumsy, not so romantic. But if someone offers to save your life, isn’t that as good as going to church in a white dress and saying ‘I do’?” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “I know too late what I have truly lost.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “Well, you know what they say about people who are married, how we become more and more alike over the years.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “Once a person has the bad habit of being scared of ghosts, it’s hard to break.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “How much can a ghost stand before he turns to revenge?” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “Between life and dead, there is a place where one can balance the impossible, we’re searching for that point.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “I knew that what I believed was what I’d find.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “I now believe truth lies not in logic but in hope, both past and future. I believe hope can surprise you. It can survive the odds against it, all sorts of contradictions, and certainly any skeptic’s rationale of relying of proof through fact.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “What’s a family name if not a claim to being connected in the future to someone from the past.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

·         “I think Kwan intended to show me the world is not a place but the vastness of the soul. And the soul is nothing more than love, limitless, endless, all that moves us toward knowing what is true. I once thought love was supposed to be nothing but bliss. I now know it is also worry and grief, hope and trust. And believing in ghosts –that’s believing that love never dies. If people we love die, then they are lost only to our ordinary senses. If we remember, we can find them anytime with our hundred secret senses.” –The Hundred Secret Senses, by Amy Tan

          

Our Day, by Windarti

can we spend a day together?
just you and me?
no talking..
no touching..
just walk,
I'd love the feeling,
knowing that you're close to me
and belong with me,
even if it is one day only.."
-Our Day, Windarti's Poem 2013

SUMMARY OF ONLY A GIRL BY LIAN GOUW

SUMMARY OF

ONLY A GIRL, by LIAN GOUW

Despite their family’s approval, Carolien had decided to marry Po Han as she reached 31 (the age of a young woman can marry without parents’ or elder’s permission). Nanna, her mother, with her Chinese mind had told her that marry a man with unstable job would do no good to her. But with Carolien’s Dutch thinking, money would not be a problem as long as they loved each other. Unfortunately, things were not as it was expected. After their honeymoon, Carolien realized that marriage was not a simple matter, especially when she had to life under the same roof with Po Han’s grandmother, Ocho, who didn’t like her because she thought that a woman with the Dutch thinking wouldn’t make a good wife because she wouldn’t able to take care of the house and husband: something that for her was the most important matter to be concerned of.

            Ocho did some things further by asking a black magic witch to separate the couple whatever it would take. But those things were end in vain, because Carolien was pregnant and managed to give Po Han a daughter, named Jenny. FOR Ocho, who still stuck to Chinese belief that a girl is less precious than boy, didn’t satisfied with her daughter-in-law and still wanted to kick her out of the house. As the child grew up, economical problem caused most of their fights until they decided to get divorce. Soon after that, Po Han went off to Holland because he won the prize of the best photograph.

            Being grown up in her grandmother’s house and also being aside by her mother business, had made her closer to her grandmother than Carolien herself. The big family had a big struggle in facing the Japan settlement in Indonesia and also the Revolutionary fights against the Dutch ‘dog’. During that time, the family lost it member, Chip, who was very loyal to the Dutch. Another problem occurred within the family when Els wanted to marry a Dutch man that once became their guest and happened to live in their home during the war. Nanna believed that as a Chinese, they couldn’t mix blood. Once we do, then the person would be considered as stranger, even in the family: they wouldn’t have any relation with him any longer. The same thing also happened with Eddie, when he married Indonesian woman.

            Eddie’s marriage had become really hard thing to accept by the family. Not only for Nanna, but also Jenny, since she had close relationship with him. Besides, Jenny also had hard time in school because her friends always teased her by their racial discrimination by calling her ‘the abandoned Ductch dog’ and also because her difficulties in keeping up with other students in Bahasa Indonesia, since all her life she only spoke Dutch language. All that miserable things ended when he got along with Lam, and met her father again. She made a good grade in school and went abroad to be a veterinarian, which her mother disapproved at first. But she proved to her that she could make it at the end and be an independent girl of her own, like what her mother ever hoped her to be.

MY FAVORITE QUOTES

·            “I love him. I don’t need a husband with a degree who’d treat me like an exotic household fixture. Do any of you know what it means to be happy instead of just financially secure?” | “Happiness is peace. You won’t find peace unless you are secure. And you won’t find security in an unstable situation”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “What do you know of love?” | “Love is what stands through misfortune. There is love when a woman’s loin have grown tired and a man still finds rest beside her. Love is when a man chisels a cavity in a woman’s heart and the woman fills the gaping hole with concern for his well-being”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “Ever since he was two years old, she had worked hard to provide him with an opportunity to have a better life. And now that it was his turn to provide for her, he was unable to do anything else but return her to a world she thought she had risen above”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “Money doesn’t replace presence”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “No self-respecting woman would leave herself and her child to the whims of an unproductive man”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “Will you take care of me, always?” –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “If you aren’t wise enough to figure what’s best for you, I wish you’d given your family’s reputation some consideration”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “If I wanted to be a household slave, I would have been one in my mother’s house”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “All I want for you is what every man deserves, a god woman and sons to bear his name”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “If that woman had any pride, she wouldn’t make such a display of her pain”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “With a mother like you, what else can she be but lively?” –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “I want her to have a good education, so she never has to bow her head for anyone”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “I can’t promise, but we can both wish it. We’ll wish it so hard, it just has to happen”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “Stay out of trouble and keep safe”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “Sometimes we can’t keep our sons from moving forward on the path they choose. All we can do is support them”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “War is a man’s affair”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “It doesn’t matter what you like better. You can’t always change things just because you like something else better”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “Why worry a child with life? Life will burden her with worry soon enough”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “Drawing and painting is nothing other than telling your hand to put on paper or canvas what your eyes see and your heart feels”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “You need to know what you’re up against before you can do something about it”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “Don’t let a bird fly with one hand and catch it with the other”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “What you do shouldn’t depend on whether or not someone is around”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “There are times when, in order to do what you feel you must do, you have to hurt those you love. And while you will hurt during the process, you still need to do it. Sometimes, it’s worth it in the end. And sometimes, it isn’t”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “You are the best person to take care of you”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

·            “Living is a scary business”. –Only A Girl, by Lian Gouw

A TRIBUTE TO WESTLIFE, by WINDARTI

The reason why did I make this little-something is that I miss Westlife. It’s a pity that they had chosen their own path. I know that as an artist, once we make ourselves known by public, we aren’t belong to ourselves only, but public also. Maybe they were tired of being possessed by so many people and they wanted peace in their lives: they wanted to live the ordinary life. That was sad for me, as a fan, because I still want to hear their voices, see their performances, and I just wanna see them. But now I know that maybe it’s best for them. No matter what, I still love them.

          What have made me so bound up with them or love them this way, is that their songs are the song that made me love English, even since I didn’t really know the meaning, because at that time, I haven’t learnt any language besides Javanese and just a little Indonesian. Because of curiosity, I insisted on learning English so I could figure out what the meaning of the song was! I looked it up in my aunt’s dictionary and translated it literally. Although I didn’t understand what the songs were all about, this activity just made me happy, made me fully content. Then I would sing it while reading the printed lyrics, keeping up with the beat as if I knew the meaning. Because of that, I knew how to pronounce word in English later on when English became my additional subject in my school curriculum.

          I’m grateful I love English since that time, and part of it (if not all) was because Westlife and their songs. That’s why I love them. Because they have gave me so many things, now I want to give them this little thing: this is (maybe) a poem consists of 104 title of their songs which I wrote in capital letters. Just enjoy it and feel the love I sent to them…

A TRIBUTE TO WESTLIFE

SOLEDAD, an UPTOWN GIRL that I love..

The first time I met you, YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL (TO ME),

WHEN YOU CAME AROUND, I was so sure

That you’re the PUZZLE OF MY HEART..

You CATCH MY BREATH and COLOR MY WORLD..

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?

HAVE YOU EVER felt this way?

When you came CLOSER, you DRIVE me crazy,

You make DIFFERENCE IN ME..

My ANGEL, be with me in BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT,

And FLY ME TO THE MOON,

NO ONES GONNA SLEEP TONIGHT,

NO NO..

                   But MY LOVE is LEAVING,

                   You know HOW TO BREAK A HEART,

                   OVER AND OUT, with GREASED LIGHTNING..

                   I CRY,

                   I GET WEAK, SOMEBODY NEEDS YOU here,

                   Why did you give me the chance, IF YOUR HEART’S NOT IN IT?

                   AIN’T THAT A KICK IN THE HEAD?

                   When you CHANGE THE WORLD I lived,

                   To the WORLD OF OUR OWN, such a BEAUTIFUL WORLD..

                   WHAT ABOUT NOW? You’ve changed it into ANOTHER WORLD..

                   Full of SHADOWS, TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART..

                   The SOUND OF A BROKEN HEART makes me

                   WIDE OPEN tonight..

                   IF I LET YOU GO, will you be happy?

I was looking for THE REASON of WHY DO I LOVE YOU,

I was STILL HERE,

TOO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE…

You’re still the PICTURES IN MY HEAD,

BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE, please TURN AROUND,

ALL OR NOTHING… OPEN YOUR HEART…

I believe that I’LL SEE YOU AGAIN,

I WILL REACH YOU..

                   And it’s AMAZING..

                   How MIRACLE happens in DESPERADO..

                   Like DREAMS COME TRUE,

                   SHE’S BACK saying DON’T SAY IT’S TOO LATE..

                   I SMILE, feeling like coming back HOME..

                   HEY WHATEVER,

                   I’LL HIT YOU WITH THE REAL THING

                   NO MORE HEROES, just you and me..

                   It’s OBVIOUS that LOVE CAN BUILD A BRIDGE..

                   THAT’S LIFE

TONIGHT, you look so BEAUTIFUL IN WHITE,

As I bring you THE ROSE,

YOU MAKE ME FEEL that I’m the luckiest person in the world..

This feeling is MORE THAN WORDS I could explain..

SWEAR IT AGAIN:

That we would be this CLOSE forever..

WE ARE ONE..

I know WHAT I WANT IS WHAT I’VE GOT..

When you lay your head ON MY SHOULDER,

I know SOMETHING RIGHT,

The QUEEN OF MY HEART, IT’S YOU…

I DON’T WANNA FIGHT anymore..

I WANNA GROW OLD WITH YOU..

You asked me: WHERE WE ARE,

I said we’re on the LAST MILE OF THE WAY..

To our LIGHTHOUSE..

I’M ALREADY THERE, waiting for you..

To walk this EVERGREEN avenue..

                   I HAVE A DREAM, as I LAY MY LOVE ON YOU..

                   BOP BOP BABY,

                   THE DANCE we always do..

                   Is THE EASY WAY to say I MISS YOU..

                   YOU RAISE ME UP, and HEAL my wounds, make me SAFE..

                   WHAT’S MAKE A MAN doesn’t love you tenderly,

                   WHEN YOU’RE LOOKING LIKE THAT?

                   I know that it’s US AGAINST THE WORLD,

AGAINST ALL ODDS..

But I knew also, that our love is UNBREAKABLE..

WRITTEN IN THE STARS by the POET’S HEART,

And the SEASON IN THE SUN..

I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU whenever you need me to,

NO PLACE THAT FAR for me,

Because I don’t want to be FOOL AGAIN,

THE DIFFERENCE is that now,

I’m FLYING WITHOUT WINGS with you…

Windarti 2013

A COTTAGE BY THE SEA, by Windarti

image credit: http://www.paintinghere.org/painting/cottage_by_the_sea-7538.html

A COTTAGE BY THE SEA

He would be the first one I saw when I opened my eyes,

After the sunshine which came through the slight curtain of unlocked window.

His voice would be the first one I heard as a morning greeting,

After the sound of the wave at the sea.

His skin would be the first one that I felt,

After the greeting of the wind came through the window.

Who would be happier than me?

When I went outside, I would see how wonderful nature is.

When I looked inside, I would see how beautiful a god like.

And when the sun was right above our head,

          He would be the first one I asked to dance,

          With the wave and white sand,

          Together we would gonna be blind and tan.

When the sun was set at the horizon,

          He would be the first one I begged not to go.

We would sit on the rock as the wind blows.

Looking at the stars shining above,

Who else would be happier than me?

In the cottage by the sea.

Windarti 2013